Cheat & Liar

Over the last 2 days this woe-man (woman) is telling me she is sorry that she cheated on me with Victor (the younger, thinner lover). She tells me that she will never do it again. That she wants me back. So I go into a calm review with her of all the lies that led up to me finding out.

1. She had a friend, Mona, 23 years old, who is an absolute nightmare (by the way the woe-man that lives with me is 33). Let me summarize. Mona has been married for about 4 years. She has a 6 year old and 4 year old in her home country being taken care of by her mother. She has not seen her children in the 3 years that she's been in this country and she has no plans regarding them. In the 1-1/2 years that my dear wifey has known her, I've been told by wifey (who loves to gossip) that she's slept with 4 guys. One particular episode involved a young man who kept giving her the eye, and a week later Mona was recounting how the guy's dick was curved to the left and how he was nothing spectacular in the sack. The Fool nodded along to the story oblivious to the red signals of adultery.

Sorry back to my original point. I went into a calm review of the facts:

1. "You were going to bars at night with this slut and lying to me about it".

2. "You opened up a Zoosk.com dating account and posted sexy pictures of yourself". By the way, this was the chink in her cheating armour. When I found out about this online dating account I put my computer skills to task and got her username and password. I saw all the flirting messages she had posted.

3. "On your email account there were pictures at a bar sent to an UNKNOWN EMAIL address, but you told me that it wasn't your email address even though it had your first name initial, your second name initial and your maiden name. You told me you opened this email account for Mona. You did her the favor so she could cheat on her husband" (I know, I know, hence my name, The Fool of the World). I BOUGHT IT!!! A few days later skepticism got the better of me and I busted into the email account, which was empty (surprise, surprise). I promptly changed the password and requested the server (hotmail) to send me the last 2 months of emails which I accidentally erased. Bam! Another chink in the harlot's armour. The emails were from various guys thanking wifey for last night. Saying things like "I love that tongue of yours", and "last night was great". Oh and what's this, LO AND BEHOLD, the trademark of modern cheating......a myspace account.

4. "I busted in to the myspace account and corroborated my evidence of sexual messages and a network of 40 guys that were friends. 2 of them that posted messages back and forth about having gone out with wifey. What a sucker!

So I tell her calmly after reviewing these and other facts, "I can never trust you again. You'll only do it again and again and again, except you'll be more careful next time. Live your life. Do what you want to do. Just let me be."

I don't need a woe-man. I really don't. In the 4 weeks since, I've been reading a lot lately. I go out for walks in my neighborhood and listen to the birds singing (I know it sounds lame, but have you ever taken the time to do nothing except just be still and listen to sounds, smell the chilly, autumn air?). I play chess with my son, take him to the park, go to the bookstore. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THE FOOL PUT ON THE SHACKLES AGAIN!!!

Today is another day that is gray and sad. Nostalgia hits me every now and then. Like the other day I was at Macy's by myself and I walked by the Christmas tree and decorations section and I remembered times past. Memories have a way of coloring themselves bright. That day I probably fought with her, but in my memory I remembered walking about that holiday section and picking decorations that were in the clearance bins.